How to Advocate for Your Neurodivergent Child in Rhode Island Homeschool Programs and Activities

A Rhode Island homeschool guide to advocating for your child’s needs, finding support, and creating successful learning experiences

Photo by K F on Unsplash.

The Day I Stopped Trying to Recreate School at Home

When I first started homeschooling, I built a daily schedule, bought a structured curriculum, and created the perfect learning space with everything a traditional classroom had — only to watch it all fall apart before my eyes. The worksheet I placed on my son's desk was immediately crumpled, the pencil launched across the room, and my carefully planned homeschool day was over before it began.

I decided then that the solution might be to look beyond our home for learning opportunities. I tried a homeschool co-op, but the group setting overwhelmed him. Then I signed him up for a STEM program at the library that seemed like the perfect fit — until he wouldn't even walk through the door.

I found myself asking, "Why can't my child participate like other children?"

But eventually, I realized that was the wrong question. The question wasn't, "How do I make my child fit into these programs?" It was, "What does my child need to participate successfully — and how can I advocate for those needs?"

That perspective changed everything for us, and I hope this guide does the same for you.

5 Steps to Help Your Child Access Homeschool Opportunities

Step 1: Deschooling

Deschooling was the first step in understanding my child. It gave us time to step away from the pressure of traditional school and discover what truly interested him. During this time, life was simple. We cooked together, played outside — blowing bubbles, drawing with sidewalk chalk, and playing badminton — visited playgrounds, explored hiking trails around Rhode Island, and borrowed books from the library.

Example: While rereading the Humphrey book series from the library, I noticed my son’s fascination with a frog character named Og. When I later came across a FrogWatch volunteer opportunity, I asked if he wanted to join. His answer was a resounding "Yes!" That simple interest eventually led me to advocate for the accommodations he needed to participate — and it became one of the most meaningful experiences of our homeschool journey.

Step 2: Learn Your Child

Becoming a stronger advocate starts with understanding your child. Learn as much as you can — through evaluations, diagnoses, classes, books, experts, and other parents who have walked a similar path. Pay attention to patterns. What excites your child? What overwhelms them? What looks like refusal but is actually anxiety? The more you understand your child’s strengths, challenges, interests, and needs, the easier it becomes to advocate for them.

Example: I took a free class on sensory processing and was inspired when I watched a video that helped me see my son’s learning experience from a different perspective — a child’s perspective. The child in the video explained that moving and touching things helped him focus and learn. This was an “Aha!” moment for me. I realized that my son learns best when he is able to move, and that constantly telling him to sit still was taking his focus away from learning.

Step 3: Build Your Toolbox

Occupational therapy, speech therapy, counseling, support groups, and other services can provide valuable tools and strategies. Every support doesn’t work for every child, but building a toolbox gives you options when challenges arise. Occupational therapy helped my son build skills around communication, regulation, sensory needs, and confidence with new experiences.

Example: When he failed his eye exam at age nine, my son was terrified of going to the eye doctor. His occupational therapist spent a month helping him prepare — creating a pretend eye doctor office where he could practice, making a social story with pictures he chose, and setting a goal of pizza afterward. With those supports, he was able to get through the appointment and get the glasses he needed. When he put them on, he actually shouted, “It’s like a whole new world.”

Step 4: Explore Opportunities

Try opportunities without expecting perfection. A museum visit, library program, nature group, class, or community activity is a chance to learn more about your child. What makes them feel comfortable? What helps them participate? What doesn’t work? Every experience — even the ones that don’t go as planned — gives you valuable information about the environments where your child can thrive.

Example: We tried a co-op where accommodations were provided, allowing me to be in each class with him without being his teacher, but he still did not have a great experience. Once he was regulated enough to explain why (which was years later), he told me it felt too much like regular school. Since then, we’ve focused more on activities outside of a classroom setting — like nature programs, volunteer work, and hands-on experiences that better fit how he learns.

Step 5: Advocate

Once you understand your child’s needs, don’t be afraid to ask questions and request accommodations. Sometimes the answer will be no, but sometimes a simple change can make an opportunity accessible for your child. And often, the changes that help one child can open the door to opportunities for many children.

The FrogWatch Example

One of my favorite examples is my son’s experience with the FrogWatch program at Roger Williams Park Zoo. Since I discovered his love for frogs during deschooling, I decided to see if he could become a frogwatcher through this program — an opportunity that would allow him to become a citizen scientist by monitoring and reporting frog calls.

The challenge was that the program required participants to attend an in-person training before taking a certification test. At the time, my son’s anxiety over "the classroom model" made attending the training impossible. It would have been easy to assume the program simply wasn’t an option for him.

Instead, I reached out and explained the situation. To my surprise, they worked with us and created an online training option. My son completed the training from home, passed the certification test (also from home) with flying colors, and has now been a frogwatcher for three years.

His love for frogs, coupled with his FrogWatch experience, gave him the confidence to pursue other opportunities as well. He has volunteered at a local reptile store, created his own YouTube channel, "Cold Blooded Care," and has big plans to continue expanding his reptile and amphibian interests in the coming years.

All of this started because I advocated for him — and the program listened. If you are unsure how to advocate for your child, start below with this simple FAQ sheet.

About the Author 

M.J. Mercure is the founder and editor of Happy Homeschool RI, a publication connecting Rhode Island homeschooling families with local events, educational opportunities, and hands-on learning adventures. Subscribe to Happy Homeschool RI for weekly field trip ideas, local events, and homeschool resources delivered straight to your inbox.

Have an event or opportunity to share? Email happyhomeschoolmedia@gmail.com